Co-dependency is Compassion without Wisdom
The Wave Series Transcripts and Co-Dependency;
"Q: (L) Is the action she (Mother) is taking, which is to try to get him (adult child) into a hospital drug treatment facility; can
you make any comments on this?
Q: (L) Is there anything that she could do that would be helpful at this point?
A: Son follows in "shoes" of parents.
Q: (L) Any other advice for her at this time?
A: Best to let kid salt his oats and take his lumps.
Q: (L) Okay, so P. (Adult child) has to learn on this, and the best way you can help him is by backing off. (A) From P., too?
A: When one protests, one facilitates the building of barriers that are an integral part of the attack. For one to have
revelation, one must "step back," and view the picture without prejudice!"
Terms such as; "Service to Others and Service to Self are inextricably mixed up with the idea of love. On an
individual basis, we may say that we Love this or that person, and want to Serve them, but then the question arises: WHICH
PART OF THEM are we serving? The higher part that seeks spiritual progression, or the Lower part that seeks self-survival?
When we help someone who keeps making the same mistakes over and over again, we are clearly interfering in their
lessons. What, then, are we serving us or them?
Most likely ourselves because we are then able to "feel good" that we are so "long suffering" and "patient" and "self-
sacrificing," because we can certainly see, from the evidence of our eyes, that the other person isn’t making any progress by
virtue of our efforts. And, it may be a far more difficult thing to deny assistance,
particularly when it is someone we love, because it "hurts us to see them hurt." Yet, that may be the very thing needed in
order for them to grow - to be left to their own suffering until they have had enough so that they will begin to see their own
way out of the difficulty, thereby building soul strength and accessing their own powers and inner potentials." - Laura Knight,
scribe of The Wave Series Transcripts
The Law of One and Co-dependency;
"Questioner: Many entities (people) here feel great compassion for relieving the physical problems of third-density other-
selves by administering to them in many ways, with food if there is hunger as there is now in the African nations, by bringing
them medicine if they feel that there is a need to minister to them medically, and being selfless in all of these services to a
very great extent.
This is creating a vibration that is in harmony with green-ray or fourth-density but it is not balanced with the understanding of
fifth-density that these entities are experiencing catalysts and a more balanced administration to their needs would be to
provide them with the learning necessary to reach the state of awareness of fourth-density than it would be to minister to
their physical needs at this time. Is this correct?
Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. To a mind/body/spirit complex (person) which is starving, the appropriate response is the
feeding of the body. You may extrapolate from this.
On the other hand, however, you are correct in your assumption that the green ray response is not as refined as that which
has been imbued with wisdom. This wisdom enables the entity to appreciate its contributions to the planetary consciousness
by the quality of its being without regard to activity or behavior which expects results upon visible planes.
Questioner: Then why do we have the extreme starvation problem in, generally, the area of Africa at this time? Is there any
metaphysical reason for this, or is it purely random?
Ra: I am Ra. Your previous assumption was correct as to the catalytic action of this starvation and ill health. However, it is
within the free will of an entity to respond to this plight of otherselves, and the offering of the needed foodstuffs and
substances is an appropriate response within the framework of your learn/teachings at this time which involve the growing
sense of love for and service to other-selves.
Questioner: What is the difference in terms of energy center activation between a person who represses emotional
responses to emotionally charged situations and the person who is balanced and, therefore, truly unswayed by emotionally
Ra: I am Ra. This query contains an incorrect assumption. To the truly balanced entity no situation would be emotionally
charged. With this understood, we may say the following: The repression of emotions depolarizes the entity in so far as it
then chooses not to use the catalytic action of the space/time present in a spontaneous manner, thus dimming the energy
There is, however, some polarization towards positive if the cause of this repression is consideration for other-selves. The
entity which has worked long enough with the catalyst to be able to feel the catalyst but not find it necessary to express
reactions is not yet balanced but suffers no depolarization due to the transparency of its experiential continuum. Thus the
gradual increase in the ability to observe one’s reaction and to know the self will bring the self ever closer to a true balance.
Patience is requested and suggested, for the catalyst is intense upon your plane and its use must be appreciated over a
period of consistent learn/teaching.
Questioner: How can a person know when he is unswayed by an emotionally charged situation or if he is repressing the flow
of emotions, or if he is in balance and truly unswayed?
Ra: I am Ra. We have spoken to this point. Therefore, we shall briefly iterate that to the balanced entity no situation has an
emotional charge but is simply a situation like any other in which the entity may or may not observe an opportunity to be of
service. The closer an entity comes to this attitude the closer an entity is to balance.
You may note that it is not our recommendation that reactions to catalyst be repressed or suppressed unless such reactions
would be a stumbling block not consonant with the Law of One to an other-self. It is far, far better to allow the experience to
express itself in order that the entity may then make fuller use of this catalyst."
An example of making a judgement. The Wave Series Transcripts claims that in its past the black race were ferocious
slave masters. In order for them to "work off" their karma their current earth-suits were designed with an extra gland. This
gland secretes a chemical which causes them to become less aware of cause and effect than the average incarnate
upon planet earth. Therefore, by this example, we must realize that most of us are here in order to "do work on our-self",
to clear our own karmic record in order to progress. Therefore, judge NOT! Because you do not have enough evidence to
even judge your own-self!
The desire to feed those starving is seen to the self as service to the other-self, when in reality it is often the self having
difficulty seeing the other-self suffer, therefore, is service-to-self. Therefore, there is a fine line between compassion and
wisdom. We never know if others suffering is due to their soul contract or not, or if they have placed their-self in a position
which allows others to be of service. Therefore, feed the other-self who is hungry, shelter the other-self when its in need, but
understand that you may be infringing upon their free-will, thus you may be creating karmic entanglement for your own-self
when you do so.
An Example of Co-dependency;
I have a childhood friend who was a master fabricator. This man could weld two pieces of any type of matter together and he
was fun to be around. However, he became a booze bozo and soon his co-dependent mother went to work enabling her
"baby boy" to continue with his new hobby. Before long she had helped him by removing his desire to do anything else with
his life but drink. She often nagged him, however, her actions spoke much louder.
When he and his wife lost custody of their children, his wife divorced him and began a new life. However, since he still
retained his chief enabler he was given no incentive to relinquish his life style. Convinced that it was all her daughter in-laws
fault, the chief enabler paid off her son’s home, paid all of his monthly expenses, did his house cleaning and continued to
strip him of any and all responsibility for himself.
After he lost his drivers license, the chief then began driving him everywhere he wished to go. She soon began giving him a
daily booze allowance in which each morning he began walking to the liquor store to dispense with. After he began drinking
the mix on his return trip back to his residence, he began to create havoc with his neighbors along the way. Now the chief
began driving him each morning to this desired location as well.
When the chief was confronted as to why she continued to enable him she claimed that her son would die if not
for her. What this well meaning mother never understood was that it was her co-dependency which allowed the behavior to
She did not put the bottle in his hand, however because of her own character defect she began tipping it to his lips when he
was a young man.
After her death he was then placed in a convalescent hospital where he will spent the rest of his life.
The sadist part for me was realizing that she needed him to stay sick so she could fulfill her motherly needs, and he needed
her to help him stay sick. Together they needed each other sick. What a sick game we play.
Patterns of Co-Dependency;
1. My good feelings about who I Am stem from being liked by you.
2. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
3. My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
4. My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
5. My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to do it my way.
6. My self confidence is bolstered by solving your problems.
7. My self confidence is bolstered by relieving your pain.
8. My own hobbies are put aside.
9. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
10. Your personal appearance and behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me.
11. I am not aware of how I feel, I am only aware of how you feel.
12. I am not aware of what I want, I want what you want. I am now not aware, therefore, I must assume.
13. My dreams of a future are linked to you.
14. My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
15. My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
16. I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
17. My social circle diminishes with my involvement with you.
18. I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
19. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
20. The quality of my life depends on yours.
“Sense your struggle affects my serenity, now our combined struggle affects my serenity, causing my mental focus to
resolve your problems, in order to relieve my own.”
Is this not insanity at its best! I watch this sickness being duplicated over and over as I watch the relationships between
parents and their children. We all have a strong propensity to set our children up for failure. After a toddler is potty trained it
is now time to start teaching them how to navigate this harsh world. If you continue to do the work for them, their chances of
success are slim.
I could write examples about the co-dependency that I have witnessed in the treatment centers where I worked, in the soup
kitchens, work training center and from watching the behavior between parents and their kids until I am blue in the face.
However, co-dependents are a dime a dozen and they all feel they are doing right by others, when in reality, they themselves
are the most destructive force ever known to mankind.
Most appear to be blinded, so seared by dependent love that most just can’t see around the corner to realize this very
destructive force. It begins the very first time we bail our kids out, preventing them from experiencing the full weight of their
If people could only see how this service-to-self type love is causing their own-self harm by getting karmicly entangled with
the ones they feel better about their-self by helping, they would stop. However, they are blind to such an understanding. In
the next classroom (4D), those that graduate 3D will then be required to learn how to balance their compassion with
How to recover from Co-dependency
Firstly, you must becoming willing to admit you are the one with the problem. You must now muster up enough true love to
face the "I hate you" when you will not give the loved one money, nor bail them out of jail or allow them to sleep on your sofa
because they waisted their resources. Yes, they are going to think of every possible way to hold you hostage to their
If they end up in jail, DO NOT BAIL THEM OUT! They got their-self there, let them get their-self out!
Do not take it as a reflection of your parenting skills, because they will use you as their excuse if you allow them to. Sure, you
made your mistakes, no one is perfect! But if you do not have the strength to tell them enough is enough, then go down and
purchase both of you a burial plot, because that's where this will lead. There is a fine line between compassion and
corruption! Care and corrosion! Nurture and non-sense! Help and hindrance!
Therefore, if you are allowing your child’s poor behavior; I wish that you would find another way to entertain your-self. Give
your children a chance to live, teach them how, do not do it for them. He who cleans up his child’s mess, will always be
cleaning up his child’s mess! Love them enough to say, ‘No, you have two legs, two arms and a great wonder between your
ears, now use it.
Let the loved one lose everything they own. Contact every family member and each one of their friends to warn them to also
cut off all sources of revenue. Move, change your phone number, even your name if you must. Do whatever you must do to
prevent your sickness from hindering their progress.
If you allow one small hole in your strategy, the loved one will find it and squeeze through that hole. There is nothing you can
do for them but let them fall.
Do not believe what your loved one says, but rather what they do. Good intentions accomplish nothing, and going to church
will not prevent an addiction to anything.
I am NOT sorry for being so harsh regarding this subject matter. Physical 3D life is a Harsh Reality. 99% of you will not get
this. You will say to your-self; "But my situation is different." I am Not sorry to tell you this, but I have heard every excuse, and
none of them were valid excuses. Not even one!
I know where it will lead if you do not stop and take stock of your own life NOW! If you or a loved one requires further
information with this issue, there is help. But it is you who must becoming willing. If you need strength to do the right thing,
email me. Tell me you need help and I will "try" to help you.
Again; Before you look at your loved one as the problem, first take a serious look at your own-self! And please, don't anyone
who has read this ever email me again asking; "What can I do to help my child, my husband, my neighbor, my friend, my
sister, my brother, or even my pastor! With that very question you have made your own-self part of their problem.
If you wish to better understand co-dependency, also see my Demon Possession or Physic Vampirism? page (HERE)
Within the next stage of our learning adventure we will begin learning to balance wisdom with logic, how to still be
compassionate without being co-dependent, learning the true meaning of love. You may now be on that path which
separates emotion from logic..